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COURSE CLEAR!
Today Derrick came over and brought with him the infamous Nintendo. Super Mario Brothers, here I come again, and again, and again. The whole lot of us has decided to a partaking in a roundabout with the controller and we can’t seem to put it down. Course Clear! I can’t get enough; It’s like heroin for nerds, and not just the video but the audio too. This great music is hard to not enjoy, it is like puppets on acid. Not that I would know what acid is like, or being a puppet for that matter.
Let’s move on shall we? This game has quite the girth of fun filled “oh no’s” and “F, F, F, hit the F button.” There is no F button, it was Y you wanted to hit, so you died. On to the next person for the ultimate show of button knowledge, “Y, Y, Y, hit the Y button.” No, it was the X button you wanted to hit, “Y” did you not use the right button? Well, no matter, you died. Go sulk about it in the loser’s corner — NEXT!
Sitting here waiting for my turn I have been given time to smell the fresh air and run down memory lane holding Yoshi’s hand while skipping though the levels. This brought me back to the days when I ran to Alan’s house to melt into a chair in the den and spent hours mutilating my eyes in an attempt to beat the game before I went blind.
I have found that a night of, for the most part, friendly fun with Super Mario Brothers is a much need vacation from X-Box and it’s after market game stealing black ass. All in all, I feel that Super Nintendo is so awesome that I think I am going to sink into a hole with it, wallow in my own depravity, and never leave.
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No one can walk backwards into the future.
Well of course not, no one can run backwards at 88 mph holding a Dalorean!
I think captain obvious forgot to put is name on this wonderful piece of art.
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Please someone at work by remaining calm and impartial
Maybe that still works in the sweat shops, but this is America and we favor making money. Lucky numbers: 4,9,12,20,30,50. These are the ages at which you will get fucked over by the government.
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World Domination When Needed.
By, Brett “The hit man” Ramus
copyright, 1967
Step one: You must be smart not Bush smart but, Saddam Hussein smart. You know… secret agent shit.
Step one and a half: Order of operations is imperative and algebra at its best, which you will need to be fluent in.
Step two: Make sure your fellow scientists are as intelligent as you.
Step three: Access to a laboratory and unlimited nuclear arms. Sorry, you can’t hug your children with them.
Step four: It would be best not to have any children.
Step five: Stay at a holiday inn and take advantage of the complementary breakfast.
Step six: You need to have complete comprehensive knowledge of the subject, so watch the Manhattan Project prior to this on-taking– or on-slaughter witch ever you prefer.
Step seven: Put on fresh underwear when ever you test the subject.
Step eight: Get a loan from the “Bank of America”. Set up a Swiss bank account.
Step nine: Rob the “Bank of America” and refer to step fourteen.
Step ten: Buy a laser, if you lack the money to buy the laser refer back to step one, two, and fourteen.
Step eleven: If you have succeeded in robbing the “Bank of America”, well then holy shit you don’t need to dominate the world now do you. Refer to step fourteen.
Step twelve: Take you newly acquired wealth that you received from the “Bank of America” and refer to step thirteen.
Step thirteen: Put it in your Swiss bank account. If you do not already have this account set up refer back to step eight. Oh you can’t can you? Just rob that place so refer back to step one and a half and, if you are reading this after completing step nine it may be a little difficult so refer back to step one, two and fourteen.
Step fourteen: If you are referred to this step, you are dull of wit, refer back to step fourteen.
To be continued…
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1000 Easy Steps To World Domination.
Step one: You must be smart not Bush smart but, Saddam Hussein smart you know… secret agent shit.
Step one and a half: Order of operation is imperative and algebra at its best, which you will need to be fluent in.
Step two: Make sure your fellow scientists are as intelligent as you.
Step three: Access to a laboratory and unlimited nuclear arms, you can not hug your children with them sorry.
Step four: It would be best not to have any children.
Step five: Stay at a holiday inn and take advantage of the complementary breakfast.
Step six: You need to have complete comprehensive knowledge of the subject, so watch the Manhattan Project prior to this on taking or on slater witch ever you prefer.
Step seven: Put on fresh underwear when ever you test the subject.
Step eight: Get a loan from the “Bank of America”. Set up a swiss bank account.
Step nine: Rob the “Bank of America” and refer to step fourteen.
Step ten: Buy a laser, if you lack the money to buy the laser refer back to step one, two and fourteen.
Step eleven: If you have succeeded in robbing the “Bank of America”, well then holy shit you don’t need to dominate the world now do you. refer to step fourteen.
Step twelve: Take you newly acquired wealth that you receved from the “Bank of America” and refer to step thirteen.
Step thirteen: Put it in your swiss bank account. If you do not have one already refer back to step eight O you can’t can you you just rob that place so refer back to step one and a half and, if you are reading this after completing step nine this may be a little difficult so refer back to step one, two and fourteen.
Step fourteen: If you are refered to this step, you are stupid and refer to step fourteen.
To be continued…
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© Copyright 2005-2007 Arion Londraville, Arison Londraville, David Bova, Josh Allen, Brett Ramus.