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My first FAQ!
I have the feeling that I’m going to want to make some video game FAQs at one point or another, so I did a practice run with the format. It turned into an FAQ about writing down passwords. It’s mostly for humor, I guess. Here’s a link:
Who knows? Some of you may have encountered some of these problems in the past. I hope you were able to overcome them.
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Dark Knight Spoiler…
Andy Dick is the Joker… Discuss.
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Naming the Bands
So, a few days ago Josh Hagen and I were discussing my hypothetical punk rock band. This devolved into an all day band naming contest over instant messenger. Who won? You be the judge.
Wait, crap, I removed our names when cleaning the list. Never mind then! Just sit back and enjoy the nine pages of names we that came up with off the top of our heads.
- Jasper and the Congratilations
- DirtBiko
- Mikeo Dirt Biko
- Bare: Roar!
- Find a User
- Suber Buber
- Can’t Stop Drinking
- Cpt. DirtBiko
- Mr. and the T’s
- Xcreate
- xcreatex
- xcreatexad
- Donny and the doorbells
- meatscissors
- 13607
- zipcode
- Quality Time!
- Q-Bucks
- ELVIS
- Devilhands Bring Devilbread
- ELVIS LIVES
- Dirty and Crude
- Devilbread
- Touch the Tooter
- Falling House
- Bears and Beards
- Beardbread
- BearBeard
- BearBeardBread
- Do Not Grope
- 3 Goats and a Pocket of Change
- Devils Goats
- Pocket of Nuggets
- Bear Nuggets
- Thanks for Tanks!
- Supermarket Sheep
- Bears of War
- War of Beards
- Illinois
- Pirates of…
- Bingogabango
- Go Band! Go!
- 83 robots
- 90 Someodd Bears
- Car full of Explosions
- The Wizard
- Its hot in here
- American Bears
- BURST MODE GO!
- Huge Noise
- Man and the Men
- Whenever The Band Strikes: The Band
- Alpha Dude
- Smart Band
- omega virus
- I’m a Bands
- Mr. Green and the Green Band
- Sub Market
- Arimat Beard!
- Open Ticket
- Super Kelp
- Trick Tarp
- Tick Torn
- Super Karp
- Karp Dace
- Greco-Roman Throat Punch
- Die Steve
- Exploding Fudge
- Fudge Explosion
- Bo Bob: Bo
- Real People Read
- Noise Chamber Factor 11
- Dogs Can’t Work
- I Can’t Play
- Storm the Toilet
- American Americans
- Move to Canada
- Gladiatorial Americans
- Resist! Hug!
- Chupacabra Pancake
- Beach Princess Duke
- Creepy Cupcake
- Crisis Gambling
- Felt covered animals
- Video Game?
- Pull the Applicator
- Delicious Fabric
- Meat Suit
- Patty Duke
- Chili Shake
- Death by Chili
- F U Guy
- Suit of Thunder!
- Gibbons
- Don’t Forget the Milk
- American Counter Top
- Destruction Dozer
- Kill Marker
- When we Ploop
- Steven and ALF
- Trial Date
- Find your heart in a swingers bar
- Flaming Table
- Flaming Table and the Not laming Tables.
- He who Stole the Child
- Cow Insurance
- Skull Development
- Baby Kabob
- Fuse Those Beneath
- Young Arnold
- Give me 30 bucks
- The Baby Taker
- Guitar?
- Tiamat and the range rovers
- Mix Tape!
- TrampStamp
- Dragon Castle
- Manufacture Cats
- Outside the Donkey
- BRB
- ChairBraker
- Face Powder
- One Hundred Toasters
- Human Resources
- Large Lovers
- Hips Ahoy!
- Beef Brewery
- Colin Applefield
- Smash Basket
- Tag in: Tag Out!
- Mexico Rising
- Mr. Tang!
- Rumple Stilts Skin
- Shopping Cart
- Forgetaboutforeplay
- Hobostiltskin
- Kitty Rocket
- Dish of Ivory
- Plate of Ebony
- Steak Dinner
- Tomato Rectangle
- Brick of Faith
- Hammer Trouble
- Kerplunk!
- Babies Trees!
- Sassy Pants
- American Flamethrower
- Uncomfortable Mouth
- Mexico: It’s There
- Exit ID
- Who Mowed this dirt
- Fire Escape!
- undeniable slavery
- Touched by an Angle
- Amistad, Not Amistad
- Troubled Airliner
- 3 mopeds and a will to die
- Super Exploited
- Sleep Deprivation
- Faces in a Basket
- Drown by Fire Demons
- Cut Tows
- Bite it Off
- Wrangler Jeans
- Brown River
- Sunset at Dawn
- The Arctic Cephlopod
- Cats! Trampoline!
- Start Your Breathing
- Example
- Smash Boxing!
- E.G.
- Two tugs of a Puppy
- Brought Forth From Flame
- Treats!
- So far below the surface of doom
- Stage Divers
- Crazy Crustaceans
- Doom Spa
- 2 fingers makes a gentleman
- Ticky Tar Paper
- Riki Tiki Tavern
- Creepy Wipe
- Margaret Thatcher
- Rat Thing
- Wine Seller
- 3D Book
- Shoe Box full of gold
- Golden Nugget of Gold
- Goodbye Stormcloud
- Tension Exercises
- Rainbow Repellent
- Nice Car
- High Gas Prices
- Floating Basketball Team
- Tonight we roMance
- Too Good for Food
- Thank God I farted
- UberSmiths
- Fork!
- Fist Full of Hatred
- Truth Lab
- Rock and Roll Express
- Fish Hatcheries of Oregon
- Bag full of Midnight
- Ocean Dancers
- Monsoon Seagull
- King of the Burgers
- The Trouble with Squids
- Gogurt
- My Sun is Cranky
- Purple Train
- Clevermind
- I’m the Blue Ranger
- High Ho Horse
- Organs on High
- Upon the Throne
- Trail of Fred
- Lame Doggie
- Monster BAM!
- Tears in Beers
- Trollop
- Mel Busler of Fear
- Mark my Words!
- Oogie Boogie Dinos
- Procedures
- Semi Colon
- Prolapsed Windpipe
- The Bright Green Rejects
- Transparent Box
- Inverted Scotsman
- Tricks of Tricks
- Invented Time
- Evil Wizard 92
- The Xenia
- Who’s that Guy?!
- Wanger
- Zebra Administrator
- Meta Carpal Men
- Capital COBRA
- We Present
- Boat Trip
- Counter-Greed
- Lost in Hubert
- The galloping ghastly ghost
- Oh My Stars!
- Relieve From Tubas
- Try Again!
- Flying Cars
- Makers Hue
- Land That Plane!
- Touche
- Responsible Travel
- Horseshoes and Hand Grenades
- Look Again
- Decapitated Scoundrels
- 3 men and a lady
- Dr. Steven Tylerland and the Lips
- Problem Square
- Too Much Make Up Makes Me Blush
- Match Me
- Little Girly Band
- Hi Ho Silver and Reed
- March of the Pandas
- Panda Bite
- Britney Watch!
- Horse Tail
- Come on Eileen
- Careful with Timmy
- Love Shark
- So pretty and stinky
- Duck Tails
- Auto-Start
- Scrooge Mctaggert
- find me a whale tail
- MC Icepad and the Washer Machine Recall
- Trucks to Die For!
- Live the Bird
- Make Plenty
- Be Careful of the Icecapades
- Killer Creed
- STAB!
- Stinky Pete and the Water Weasel
- Broadsword Impalement
- Diet Hard
- Jake?
- Post Op
- Flip Flop
- Cuntaiminated water
- Do you believe in miracles?
- My Chest is Hollow
- Give it to Daddy!
- Blood for Sportsmanship
- Team USA
- Hacksaw Jim Doogan
- Frank the Defender
- Lob Off an Ear
- Watertown
- Suck at This!
- A Group of Triplets
- Thailand Bucket Brunch
- Tension Terra
- Live the Tower
- Lima Bean Curse
- Tell Tail Trumpets
- Heart Stripper
- You wanna Croc?
- Tell Tale X
- Eat This Dog!
- How About Abby
- Fancy a Potato
- Lie About Autumn
- Killer Krang
- Train of Orange
- Pit full of Pit bulls
- Hyper Uni
- Taiwanese Tranny who stole my wash
- Liver and the Ice Chest
- Make it matter
- Love Your Neighbor
- Destroy a city
- You’re all Dragons
- Devourer
- Killer Killer Killers
- Disembowel
- Seppeku
- The Angry Eskimo Movement
- LandBridge
- Team Tea
- Destroyer of Ice
- Saltmachina
- When is Salsa?
- Four Leaf Dover
- No Tomatoes
- Four Leaf Dagger
- Onomatopoeia
- Chair O’Chairs
- Cat on Six Tails
- The Woods
- American Loaf
- 3 inches of lust
- Bread by the Beer Beard
- wanna make a baby?
- Sticks in the Mudd
- Drop Dead Hypochondriacs
- t-girls and sodomy
- Glove Brigade
- Hippopotamouse
- French Sympathies
- Alabama Platapussy
- FACE KICKER
- Maintain the Bite
- 8 hours to turn
- Shitty Zombie Movie
- Alabama Men
- Leaf on Fire
- Tree of Leather
- The Lanes
- Hemorrhage
- Mijolnir
- Super Barrage
- Odin’s Beard
- My Hammer!
- The Crow
- Dime Basket
- Pick our Name
- What? Jasper!
- perfect strangers
- We Made a Band
- Lariat
- Unproductive
- Lime Green Sweets
- Your a Horse
- Cascade of Carl
- Develop Minds
- The Rush
- Rushmore
- Falling Hamsters
- Long Awaited George
- Toupee Tragedy
- At the gate
- Alcohol Stings
- Tool Town
- Intestinal Blockage
- Candy
- Epicack
- Sixty Pack
- Wolves on Fire
- 300 beer cans
- Keystone Incident
- Teeth of the Whalerus
- Skin a Whale!
- Tusk Kee Gee
- German Suplex
- The Last Version
- Chives
- Shotgun Minister
- CRY!
- Pastors
- Try Soap
- Cattle Skull Face Lift
- Disconnect Skulls
- lets eat!
- Where his Legs?!
- Chicken Horn
- The Konch
- Large Band
- Bear Jumpers
- Jewish Faith
- Time Hag
- Spinning Hangman
- Wheres my baby?
- Hope For a Cure
- Towersmasher
- Swordbreaker
- The Townbreakers
- Poor
- Responding
- Poor Response
- Can of Soda
- Check Out Time
- The Greg
- KABOSH!
- A Thin White Line
- Coked Presidents
- Loe ball
Ah! The Resolutions.
It’s the beginning of a fresh year, so suck in that fresh 2008 oxygen. Suck it in hard, suck it in fast, because you won’t have long before this set of 366 days turns the tables on you. Like every other year, it’s going to drag the life force from your body, little by little until you rot and wilt. That’s why I enjoy distracting myself with New Year’s Resolutions!
Less wilting—more resolutioning
Arion’s New Year’s Resolutions for 2008
- Get a real toothbrush:
End this fruitless Brillo pad charade. - Continue not to fly on airplanes for fear that I’m on the No Fly List:
I need to travel, and since high speed panda isn’t an option, I want to go by air. Blimps or hot air balloons are still available to me, as far as I know. - Paint the piece that Josh Hagen wants:
The one made up of a bunch of small paintings predominately featuring boobs and a turtle. I need to get my hand back up and get myself back into art. Also, back into turtles. - 4) Learn to play the ocarina that I purchased:
The novelty of the thing has faded as well as my attention to it. I will never be able to woo a sufficient number of women without some sort of ocarina related skill. - Buy a fancier ocarina to renew the novelty of it all.
- Continue to look at the homes on the market:
Pray that the federal government doesn’t offer too good of a bail-out package. After all, I like my homes the same way I like my Ramen Noodles: cheap, minimal amounts of lead, and served with delicious bacon. I know, some will worry for my health, but I love my bacon… all meaty and fatty and served with eggs. El Drool! - Even if I don’t get to ride it, I will at least see a breathing unicorn:
I will also ride the unicorn. We’ll ride over the rainbow forests to Cupcakesville—a land of both cups and cakes—to visit Dr. David the Gnome. What’s that David? Tea time! Why yes, I would love a cup of Blackberry and Spice!HA!
That ‘corn will never see me coming!
- 7) Quit more things:
My life is way busy! I need to knock a few projects off or my platter. And by that, I don’t mean “finish them,” I mean “quit them.” It’s a well known fact that quitting is not only the quickest way out of something, but also the most rewarding way. You really get to stick it to “The Man” and show them who’s the boss. I’m gonna quit all kinds of cool stuff this year! Painting… unicorn hunting… writin
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Childbirth Ideas
This is a post that I started a year ago or so and I never completely flushed it out. As I have little recollection of my old theories, I feel there is enough content here, with some slight additions, to post. If it seems sort of unorder and out of whack, then deal with it.
Enjoy!
—————————————-
Childbirth.
We all know what it is*. I have a few questions about it, and, since I’m a male, they will probably be very stupid, innappropriate questions. Well, you know what?
Too bad.
I heard some people talking about childbirth, and I was thinking, “Why does childbirth hurt?” This spawned a few thoughts in my head. I feel like giving you my philosophical thoughts about childbirth. Beware, you’re in for a scare (maybe).
* - If you don’t know what childbirth is, I suggest sticking any two fingers up your ass and checking to feel if it’s decently warm. If the previous is true, then proceed to impale yourself on a brick. It may take multiple tries, but you’ll get it with time and training. ^_^
Why does childbirth hurt?
If females must bear children into the world to propagate the species and the very future of our race, why must it be such a pain in the ass/uterus/whatever? The thing is: It hurts. As you might have guessed, I have never given birth, so you might be asking yourself why I’m writing this. Well, if you find out, let me know. I have never personally felt this pain so I have to go by what I’ve heard and what I’ve seen/heard in media.
Childbirth Portrayals in the Media
As this is generally a horrible basis, movie births have a general concept: The mother hurts like Hell and tends to take it out on the man who “did it” to her. She’ll want all sorts of drugs to help with the pain. Good and bad movies alike have had childbirths in them. Good movies, such as Coneheads, and bad movies such as Nine Months and Junior. In most instances, childbirth is made out to be a very painful, yet very rewarding experience. I think they tend to exaggerate sometimes on the hectic antics of it, but as I’ve never witnessed a real childbirth, I can’t say. If some of the things I’ve seen going on in movie hospitals, I expect the surgeon general and the department of health to get off their asses and fix it, because that’s some crazy shit.
To think that is must have been significantly worse for those in the past who didn’t have as many methods of medicinal technology or none at all. By which, we could say that since childbirth has been facilitated due to knowledge and technology, it would be much more prominent. Does that mean that our own development of technology, due to our instincts of sex and survival, is leading to our eventual overpopulation? Maybe the said deity thinks we’re becoming too smart? Maybe it misses the old days of widespread, multi-form ignorance?
If so, why does sex feel so good?
If the above factors in, then is it a “test” from some agnostic deity to have us hold our instincts for sex to prevent childbirth, lest we overburden ourselves and our Earth, causing irreparable/fatal damage to the human race?
Is AIDS a “plague” brought upon the people because said deity thinks we’re popping out too many living environmental burdens?
Who knows? I’m just a man who can sperm and term-inate the relationship depending on the interference of law and perhaps social services. Why does something that feels so good lead to something so painful (although rewarding)? Perhaps it is so we’ll get caught up in the reproductive process in the beginning without much though of the consequences. Hell, we’ll even do it again and again. We’re human, and we’re known for doing things over and over regardless of the consequences. Maybe it’s all just a part of the great mystery of life. Or maybe the said deity thinks it’s funny. Either way, we have to deal with it.
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© Copyright 2005-2007 Arion Londraville, Arison Londraville, David Bova, Josh Allen, Brett Ramus.